https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HRM3YwhGdw
From my last elevator pitch, I chose to go more in depth of my actual product and service. The feedback I received from my last elevator pitch stated that I should limit the examples I tell the audience, as it might make them forget what my purpose is. I tried to take away those examples and add a better description of the app itself. I also tried to stop having my hands in front of my body, without seeming like I wasn't engaging.
Great improvement from the first version! I like your delivery style in both versions, though. It seems like its very well-written and a relaxed delivery style--like something you would expect to see on a commercial. You went into more detail this time around--and also mentioned that it would only be available to people within three miles of shore. One change I had hoped to see was the camera angle -- it seems like you are giving the pitch to a short person or you are extremely tall and intimidating. Aside from that, awesome presentation!
ReplyDeleteI remember watching your first elevator pitch and immediately falling in love with the product idea! As someone who is constantly forgetting something when I go out for the day on a boat, I would do anything for this service to be a legit thing. In terms of your improvement from the first pitch to the second, you did a even better job explaining the service and related to the audience. It didn't seem too forced and I feel as though it did it's job by grabbing the audiences attention.
ReplyDeleteI thought that your first pitch was solid and you managed to improve on it anyway. You seemed a lot more confident in this pitch and seem like your were more properly organized and compared because you conveyed your points clearly and concisely.
ReplyDelete